How to Be a Showgirl Magnet: 5 Secrets to Owning the Stage
Have you ever watched a performer who completely mesmerized you? Someone who didn’t just go through the motions but commanded every eye in the room? Ok so for sure some people really do have the sauce just effortlessly. But that kind of stage presence isn’t only luck—it’s skill, intention, and practice. And the best part? You can totally learn it.
It doesn’t matter if you’re stepping onto the burlesque stage for the first time, or refining your presence as a veteran performer, being able to intentionally control your magnetism will transform your act from good to unforgettable. Are you in? If so, keep reading, because in this post, we’re diving into the 5 secrets of stage magnetism that will help you cultivate presence, confidence, and help you feel more deliberate onstage.
1. Temptation & Mystery: Less is More
Sometimes it’s out of necessity, but if you can help it – don’t do too much too soon. Let the audience process your music, your concept, your vibe before you start taking things off. Giving everything away too soon can definitely be a fun rule to break, but the most effective teasers understand that anticipation is everything. You don’t want to just show up and immediately deliver; you want to reel the audience in—slowly, deliberately, with just enough tease to leave them craving more. If it sounds manipulative, that’s because it is, haha, but not in a malicious way, more like in a fun and playful way.
✨ Try This:
Instead of rushing into a movement, pause and let the moment breathe.
Experiment with switching between moving to the beat and moving to the melody. It keeps the audience engaged and creates unexpected, dynamic reveals.
Think of your performance like storytelling—how can you build tension before the payoff?
2. Emotional Connection: Perform WITH Your Audience
Technique is important but it’s nothing without feeling. That’s the part of what makes burlesque an art. Ever seen someone dance technically well but still feel… kinda flat? Like they are just performing at you? That’s because movement alone isn’t enough—you need emotion. Audiences don’t just want to see a routine; they want to feel something.
✨ Try This:
Identify the core emotion of your act—seductive? Playful? Vulnerable? Powerful? Then dial it up.
Your eye contact, breath, and facial expressions should match your energy. Every move should be deliberate and meaningful.
Instead of performing at the audience, connect with them—imagine you’re having a conversation.
Confidence isn’t just a mindset—it’s physical – in your body language, posture, and transitions. If you hesitate or second-guess yourself, your audience can feel it. The trick? Even if you don’t feel 100% confident, act like you do.
✨ Try This:
Before stepping on stage remember that you’re a bad ass and you’re in control (Then believe it.)
Take one part of your routine that feels weak and turn it into a showstopper—hold a bold pause, add a confident turn, or sharpen a transition.
Practice owning stillness. A performer who can hold a moment with intention is magnetic. Just don’t forget the feeling part – otherwise you’re kinda just making it weird.
A great performance isn’t just visual—it’s a multi-sensory experience. The more you engage your audience’s senses, the more memorable you become.
✨ Try This:
Think beyond your costume—textures, lighting, and music dynamics all affect your impact.
Small details matter! For example, I spray my feathers with perfume (even though I KNOW it’s probably bad for them, so don’t do what I do, unless you also don’t care).
What does your act sound like, feel like, smell like? Make it immersive!
The audience can’t touch you or feel your feathery props, but you can show them how it feels, and you can make them feel it. Hot.
➡️ Get the full checklist for building a sensory-rich performance inside the Showgirl Magnetic Blueprint!Available in MemberStrip!
5. Expectation Management: Break the Pattern
If your act is too predictable, your audience will check out. You can really up your stage presence and keep people on their toes by mixing familiar patterns with unexpected surprises.
✨ Try This:
Identify a moment in your act where you can subvert expectations. Maybe you build up a movement, then suddenly stop instead of delivering what they expect.
Use contrast—soft movements followed by sharp ones, fast sequences broken up with a slow reveal.
Play with delayed gratification. Let the audience think they know what’s coming, then surprise them.
Real talk: reading and taking notes is one thing, but the real transformation happens when you take these concepts and put them into practice—get into your body, your shoes, and your costume. Consistency, regardless of results or mood, will work—it’s just so much easier said than done. Be gentle with yourself and remember that every month the mood goes dark, so you should too – the progress won’t stop if you take a break (but it will if you burn yourself out).
If you want to go real deep, check out MemberStrip—you’ll get the full Showgirl Magnetic Blueprint, plus a self-assessment worksheet to refine your act and become THAT performer.
If I had a rhinestone for every time one of my students or private clients or even my peers confessed that they were struggling from imposter syndrome, I could rhinestone my whole house. So if you often feel like you’re not good enough, you’re not alone.
confidence is a skill we build
it’s not something we are born with. And while “faking it till you make it” can get you out of your comfort zone, nobody wants to be phony – we want authenticity, right? So in my humble opinion, action is the only course to ditch imposter syndrome to the curb because you can’t fake showing up. The only way to stop feeling like an imposter is to keep doing the thing (whatever it is) until you prove yourself wrong.
Another approach is understanding that perfectionism causes imposter syndrome and perfectionism is a tenet of white supremacy which we are actively fighting, so it’s imperative that you do this work. Not even joking.
Think about your first day at your job – you felt awkward and unsure, but now after some experience, after consistently showing up, it gets easier (I hope!).
So next time you’re feeling that Imposter Syndrome kicking in, don’t ask yourself am I good enough, ask yourself, did I show up? That’s all that matters.
If you’re looking to improve your expression through burlesque, check out MemberStrip, where we train, learn and grow together. If you’re ready to step into your confidence, it’s waiting for you. Join here.
THIS JUST IN: I’ve had two considerate friends let me know they can no longer make my SOLD OUT workshop this Sunday, Feb 2. Do you want to join us? Grab your spot now!
class description
There’s magic in making them wait. In this transformative masterclass, I’ll teach you the art of the build-up—the ultimate technique for commanding attention, creating anticipation, and leaving your audience breathless. Whether you’re performing on stage or just walking into a room, this class will teach you how to slow it down, hold the moment, and own your power. Spots are limited—claim yours now. This class includes a conditioning sensual warm up, movement, and a whole lot of fun.
My Burlesque Journey: How I Found Confidence, Sensuality, and Joy
Look, I’ll always keep it real with y’all—progress is not linear. In my personal experience with building confidence, I’ve learned that it’s not about reaching a point where you never doubt yourself again. Instead, it’s about learning how to:
Bail on shame spirals,
Know when to take a step back, and
Practice mindfulness.
Okay? Okay.
That being said, I do feel pretty confident most of the time now (which was not always the case), and burlesque played a huge role in changing the game for me. But here’s the thing—what I’ve gained from burlesque is universal. I truly believe that anyone can embrace their own journey—whether it’s through burlesque, basket weaving, or whatever excites them—and build confidence by trying new things.
So stick around till the end, and I hope you’ll feel inspired to start your own adventure.
The Moment I Fell in Love with Burlesque
Like many of my burlesque peers and friends, the media I consumed growing up played a huge part in my fascination with burlesque and showgirls.
When I was nine years old, I saw Who Framed Roger Rabbit? in theaters, and Jessica Rabbit had a huge impact on me—along with classic Hollywood movies and cartoons.
Fast forward to the late 2000s, I had just moved back to my home state of Texas when I heard about a local burlesque show. The moment I found out about it, I knew I had to figure out how to learn burlesque as fast as possible.
My First Step into Burlesque
You don’t need prior training to do burlesque, but many of us come from stage backgrounds, and I was no different.
I was a pretty serious ballet student through high school, and that discipline gave me a little edge. I already felt comfortable:
Being on stage,
Learning choreography, and
Pushing myself physically.
But despite my experience, I was so nervous. I felt incredibly insecure about doing anything remotely sensual in front of real, live people.
On an intellectual level, I was all about it—but actually doing it? That was terrifying! It felt like a betrayal of everything I thought I was ready for.
Still, I forced myself to audition for a burlesque-inspired cabaret troupe. I got invited to rehearsals (we all did—it was just a couple of us, haha), but that tiny audition opened a huge door for me.
It led me down a path I never imagined for myself, and honestly, I think there was a teeny tiny part of me that knew this was where I was meant to be. Because let’s be real—there’s no way I would have pushed through the nerves and shown up otherwise.
The First 10 Years: Struggles and Lessons
It took me 10 years in burlesque before I truly arrived at where I am today—confident in my body, my art, and my perspective.
For the first decade, I was still caught up in all the external pressures:
Hustle hard,
Be thin,
Be strong,
Never show weakness, and
Always appear happy.
I didn’t have much confidence during that time—at least not the kind that runs deep. I had a phony, surface-level confidence that could be shattered by the smallest critique.
But here’s the twist—burlesque is actually what helped liberate me from those limiting beliefs.
Joy is such a powerful form of resistance, and I had completely let the joy fade from my burlesque practice.
Rediscovering Joy and Confidence
One day, I was having a really tough time, and it hit me—
“Wait a minute. I got into burlesque because I thought it would be fun.”
And it was fun, but my own thoughts and habits were blocking me from seeing how many of my dreams had already come true.
So, I made a change. I started:
Following my fun,
Setting boundaries, and
Letting my creativity flow again.
I stopped caring so much about being “perfect” and started having fun with burlesque again.
Another major turning point? At 37, I took up roller skating. Doing something brand new and physical gave me a fresh perspective on burlesque and reignited my passion.
Confidence Isn’t Just About Performing
Taking a burlesque class or performing on stage will give you confidence, but the real, unshakable confidence comes from:
Accepting yourself as you are,
Giving yourself time to enjoy the ride, and
Not comparing yourself to others.
If you’re about to walk into your very first burlesque class, remember:
None of us knew what we were doing at the beginning. (Honestly, I barely know what I’m doing now!) But we just went for it.
Direct action cures fear—just go for it!
If you enjoyed this story and want to start your own burlesque journey, join my MemberStrip program for classes, inspiration, and support.
This is me on December 18, 2008 in my very first “big girl” burlesque routine where I went down to pasties for the very first time. This was at the Church in Dallas (IYKYK) for their Christmas party. I danced to Sugar Rum Cherry and sewed every single one of those round cup sequins on myself. I almost still have the callouses to prove it!
